The future is in my hands...

...And I might have ruin it. The consequences might haunt me for 3 years. All I will say is I have not study and I will be late. I'm at the bottom. In no condition to do it. what happened last night affects what happen to do...

Lowest point of my life

This week have been lousy and now, I having the worst moment in my life. RIGHT NOW! I am starving, depressed, stressed, worn out and broke. My life is in chaos. At work, school and home. Honestly, what is stopping me from taking my life is I'm afraid of what after death and death would not solve anything. It is that serious! I would even bother to elaborate. ITR common test is tomorrow and I have not study. I'm crying my heart out and it feels good to let everything out but I shall look forward and move on. That is the only thing I can do right now. Don't worry. I will be fine tomorrow. Hope me luck for tomorrow test. Jia You!

First Day!

Yesterday was the first day of work at Secret Recipe. It was pretty slow and boring at first. Not to mention awkward. my collegues and I was not really talking at first. I have to admit; I was not really friendly to begin with. Haha. I have to learn the basic waitress' skills; hosting, taking orders, setting and serving. Serving and hosting are kind of a no-brainer. The latter you have to pass the food to the customers and the former you have to point the seats for the customers. Settings and taking orders are a little tricky. Anyway by the 6 plus, the crowd started to come in. I have to take orders since it was busy. The feeling of taking order is the same as handling the cash register. The feeling of nervousness and lack of confidence. What if I screw up? Fortunately, i didn't. Haha. Well, I did make some mistake here and there but its is my first day. I'm allow to make mistakes. So that I can learn from it.



My stepmum and all my little brothers and sisters went back to Kedah last Sunday. I must applaud her courage for readily accept the challenge of taking care of all her 5 kids alone. From Johor to Kedah. It is definitely not easy. What my father is thinking? He is crazy that way. I am going to miss my little brother, Akmal, like crazy. He is sooo cute. Everytime I came back home, he will greet me at the door and I will kiss his chubby cheeks. *SIGH* Looking at the brighter side, The house will be peaceful for at least 1 week. My grandparents also went back to their hometown, Melaka. We(my big sisters and brother), especially me(I'm broke), are left behind to strave to death. Hahaha. Just kidding. Worse come to worse, I just have to eat maggi mee 3 times a day.




I hate being in the middle. Period.

Up and Running

Due to some technical difficulties, I have to close the blog for a while. You would have notice I change my skin. So, something went wrong. Haha. I still cannot use other skin other than the template. I'm not good at this. Haha. Unless I somehow get Microsoft Frontpage, somebody have to help me in this. Well, look out for future post... :)




Lonely and alone.

Gifts

I know my birthday is like 4 months ago but you know what will be a great birthday present? Singapore bus guide. I'm practical that way. For two days, I have been spending 2 hours in buses on my journey back home. I'm sure there is an alternative route that takes shorter traveling time. However, I wouldn't know since it is difficult to find. These two days was not the only days I have spend so much time in buses. Yup...A Singapore bus guide will make a great birthday gift.

Also, I went to my future workplace to pass 4 things that I was required to. I know my manager would be a foreigner(the accent was clear when she called me yesterday) but meeting her in person was intimidating. Not that she was scary looking or anything, just that she was not, how should I put this, friendly to me as compared to the person who interview me yesterday. This is definitely worsen the situation since I have a bad experience being under the charge of a foreigner. I am not discriminating. It just that I have problem understanding the instruction given. Obviously, this will cause some frustrating for both parties. Oh well, at least my future colleague look friendly enough.

So, I'm starting on next Monday. I still cannot believe I got a job. And I started to think whether it is wise for me to start working now. Common test in 2 weeks time. I am lost at business statistic and I need a lot of revision for microeconomics. I already screw up ITR quiz. I was late om Wednesday. So, I was only given 10 minutes out of 30 or 45 minutes to finish the quiz. although I try to do as fast as I can, I didn't finish. Duh! :( I shall work hard. The future lies in my hand. Jia you!





The irony. Nope. Things are still the same.

I Found It!

It so fast...I don't expect it to be so fast...I mean usually it take 1 or 2 days but for my case it takes less than 1 hour...Haha...You probably are confused and thinking what in the world am I talking at? Haha...I'm pretty much over the moon...I was grinning to myself like an idiot in the bus...

OK, I think you can take a guess from the title of the entry but this is what it is about: I got a job! WOHOO!! It was pretty sudden. My sister say the ad this morning(or should I say yesterday morning?) and I decided to try my luck. So, after so go all the way form Clementi to Marina Square. I was feeling more confident than when I ask for my first job(Yamayuki!). I feel the application form and was interview by one supervisor or manager(I think he is a manager). He was great! I mean I was so at ease with him that I don't feel nervous. We were cracking jokes
during the interview. Unfortunately, he did not introduce himself and I didn't ask for his name(Baka!).

So, I was pretty confident I get the job. After all, I do have some experience on being a waitress(very little, actually, haha) and customer service(I really do have experience on this). Anyway, I'm not being boastful but I was feeling that way. Furthermore, the 'manager' gave me the details such as the pay, uniform, my shirt size, when I can work and also things to bring when I got call down. That was pretty obvious wasn't it? I mean, if you don't want to hire that person, why bother telling him or her the details, right?

After that, the manager said that they will call the latest next Monday to inform if I get the job. I start to begin my journey home, which I want to add, a very long journey home. 2 hours, to be exact. I took bus back to woodlands. Which will explain that I am in such a dire state that I can't even afford to take the MRT. Hahaha. Getting back to the topic, I was on the bus for around 30 minutes when someone call me to say that I got the job! Hahaha. She told me to bring the things required to the outlet as soon as possible. I was numb with shock. They either desperately in need of workers or I am so good. I choose both just because I want to boost my self-esteem. Hahaha.

So, yeah. That pretty much how it went. The details is not confirm but I think I got the job(Did I?). :)))). I want to say I owe my sister one and Insyallah, I will treat her at my workplace. (Let's hope she did not read my blog. Hahaha.) I also want to apologize to my friends. Sorry, Rashilah and Syafz. I know I should ask you two along but it was pretty last minute. Since the details are not confirm, I would tell you which outlet I'm working. I will write back when everything is settle. Yeah! :)))

Er...this is a long post. Hehehe.





Tired of trying...Can't blame them...Old habits died hard...

Ayat-Ayat Cinta

Woah...I'm blown away...I'm touched...Not because of Fahri(he IS the ideal man if there is a such thing in this world anymore)....But I'm impressed by the women that is behind Fahri; Aisha and Maria. I think the focus should be on both of the women and not so much on Fahri. Why? Let's start with the obvious: Aisha. She willing agree to polygamy. This means having more than one husband or wife. In this case, it is obviously having more wife. In fact, Aisha is the one who insisted that Fahri to marry Maria. I want to applaud her and all the others out there for sacrifice themselves for to help others, for not only thinking of themselves. Granted that Aisha was trying to use Maria to save Fahri but she did it for all of them; Fahri , Maria and the baby.

Next, Maria. I admit she was the third party and was selfish at the beginning of the marriage. But, as time goes by, she realized the sacrifice that Aisha make for her. She even realized that loving Fahri does not mean possessing him(in this case, marriage). She become more understanding and closer towards Aisha. Alhamdulilah, Maria passes away peacefully and in Islam. In the end, the two women compromise and make Fahri's life easier and less complicated. Only an amazing and big-heated person can do such thing. This is why I think Aisha and Maria should get the credit they deserve. There are enough talk about Fahri but there is one thing I want to say about him: He is a fair man but was not as perfect people say he was.

Those who haven't watch it, GO AND WATCH IT!








I am inspired. This shall be my guide. Insyallah.

Curses...

Wohoo! I'm so dead. I'm so lost that even while staring at the screen, I have no clue what is going on. Serve me right for plugging my ears with earphone and not paying attention. This is going to hurt me real bad. Better buck up. 2 more weeks to go. Haha.


Feels like it all over again. The dark cloud is looming over my head. Damn. Do I even need it?

Orchard Road...

I went Orchard Road yesterday...Suppose to check out a few roadshow...Turns out there is nothing interesting. Well, it just an excuse to go out anyway. I don't want to stay home and face my laptop all day.(I need a life!) I was searching for a job too. I desperately broke and I owed my sister lots of money. I have to pay her back. I hate to depend on others and even more when they rub it in your face. What I need is a break. As in a job. A waitress job that between my school and home and at least $4 per hour. Is that too much to ask? (sigh)

Today was the sudden outburst day. Why? My dad came bursting in my(and my sisters) room and began his verbal assault. It was so sudden. One minute I was busy doing my work and the next minute there he was. As usually, I tuned him out although his focus was on my sister(thank god for that!). But his words do get to me and cause me to do some thinking. Which, to be truthful, scares me. The question in my head...when I will go it, how will I do it and am I be able to do it? Allah...lead me to the correct path...and help me to stay there...





How is my life going to turn out? I don't want to be someone who succeeds in life but a failure in death. I don't want the world to end during my period of life.

Skipping TAS...

I skipped my CCA today...Which is somewhat weird because I not used to skipping CCA(There is a reason why I got A2 for my secondary CCA...hehe). Blame my sister...She don't want to ran PT. Actually, I am also lazy to ran PT. Haha. Sorry, Strikemasters! I am too tired. It been a few days since I got a good night sleep and tonight I will have it! I have busy with assignment and other stuff...

Speaking of other stuff...I finished watching Hana Yori Dango(HYD)! Finally! It took me ages to load the last episode. Fyi, HDY is the Japanese and original version of Meteor Garden(MG). If you still don't know what I'm talking about, just skip this part(or you can find out what I am talking about). Anyway, HYD is a thousand times way better than MG. MG was draggy and nonsense.

Ok...back to assignments...Currently doing Creative Applied Thinking Skills(CATS) project...Good news is the project is almost done...The bad news is there is more to come..a(SIGH!)...Intregrated assignments of Microeconomics with Business Communication and Intregrated project of Fundementals of MICE Management(Don't ask) and Introduction to Tourism and Resort Management...I actually believe that my course is slack(My course is Tourism and Resort Management, btw)...

Well then...working hard! The future lies in my hands...:)




Domyouji!

Old memories(ok, not so old)...

Guess what happened today? I wore my old school uniform to NP. Haha. In fact, it feels really weird. But my almost my whole class wore school uniform too. Haha. Obviously we have nothing better to do? Haha. Standing in front of the mirror, seeing myself in the mirror, reminds me of secondary school. I looked the same(i can fit into my skirt!). I really miss my friends(you know who you are!), not to mention the teachers. And how can i forget, the canteen food! Haha. I can't tell you how much I miss it. Delicious and cheap. However, it is all in the past. Time to look ahead. Today I had a great time bonding with my fellow classmates. Taboo was awesome! I was bursting out laughing. My stomach was hurting. I also really appreciate those who are considerate and thoughtful of me. Thanks for bridging the gap! Hopeful, we have more great time in the future!

Depression

XIAN!! I'm lost...Without direction...Without purpose...God! What am I doing here? I need to snap out of it...Someone please kindly point the way...Nothing going into my head...What happened to my determination?! My goals in life?! My resolution?! It only takes 5 weeks...And another 3 YEARS to go...Am I that fickle-minded? Depression is geting to me...It is either that or I'm getting hungry...Haha...

I know it is cheem. Emo.

1 in the morning..

Yes! It is one on Monday morning...In about 5 hours time, I have to wake up and go to school...I'm addicted on a Japanese drama...I got a project that I have no idea what to do...My life is in a mess...Or am I getting depressed because of the drama?



baka!!

Latest happenings..

I went to Jerangkang Waterfalls last weekend. Set off on Friday evening and
arrived on Saturday morning. Trekking for more than 2 hours to get to the base camp...my feet have blister all over(note to self: buy more comfortable shoe)...Next, come the waterfall trek, from base camp to the waterfall...somehow easier than the first...the leaves must had cushioned my feet...

All in all...it was a good trip...made me thought about my sec 3 camping...or should i say the non-existent camping trip...We could pick between Taman Negara, Gunung Ayam, OBS or kayaking trip...Unfortunately i choose none...Surprising not to mention annoying, my Father refused to let me go...which left me with a tinge of regret...

On Monday, I forced myself to go to school. Later i realized i have Ambassador interview...Ambassador is a CCA where you promote NP to the public...Typical weird question were asked..."If a group of boys student approach you and ask
your number what would you do?"...What in the world am i suppose to answer
that?!

On Tuesday, I have a speech to present. We have to wear smart casual. Pretty weird feeling wearing working clothes to school...Still, I screwed up...Talking about not prepared and nervousness...

At least Wednesday went without a hitch...

Which brought us to today...the day which i skipped school...*sigh*...hopefully i don't have to make up for the lecture...